


Mascara

by mariadperiad20



Series: Foray into B99 [35]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Dad!Kevin, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Jake, Happy Ending, Happy Endings all the time, Jake Peralta Deserves To Be Happy, Kinda, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sort Of, TW for that to be safe, being outed, but still, dad!holt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariadperiad20/pseuds/mariadperiad20
Summary: Jake is at a gay bar, and her drink tastes off. She wakes up in Holt and Kevin's home, safe. But she's still in her fuckingdress.Genderfluid!Jake request fic!
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: Foray into B99 [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1320137
Comments: 17
Kudos: 114





	Mascara

Jake’s fingers were tapping away at the bartop, her eyes on the crowd milling on the dance floor.

“You gonna order?” The bartender leaned forward - their hair had a severe half-shave, but their eyes were friendly behind the heavily styled eyeliner. The massive rainbow flag behind them was lit up in neon.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Jake nodded, “Daiquiri, please.”

“Coming right up.” The bartender pushed off, turning to face the wall of drinks. Jake knew better than to try to strike up a conversation with them - the bar was hopping. As they slid the drink across, Jake flashed her trademark smile, picking it up.

They had made it strong. Nice.

Jake looked up as a well-muscled man slid into the chair next to her. “Name’s Parker. Come here often?” He asked.

“No,” Jake shook her head, “Not my first gay bar, but first time here.”

“Ah.” The man rested his elbow on the bar, half-turning to face her. “This place’s great. You’ll love it…?”

“Jake.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake.” Parker smiled, friendly. Then, nodding towards her drink, “Ash makes great mixed drinks.”

Jake made a noncommittal noise, bringing up one hand to rub the back of her neck. Her nails - painted a purple that had chipped off a bit - came down to keep tapping away. The sound of her fingers against the polished wood was comforting.

“So, what’s your vibe?” He asked, turning back to Jake. “Would you be interested in getting out of here?”

“I just got here.” Jake replied with a shrug. “I don’t get to go to these types of places often, I’d want to enjoy it.”

Parker nodded, then turned to the bartender - presumably Ash - and ordered a drink.

“Would you want to meet up, when you are ready to leave?” He asked.

Jake shook her head. “Sorry, I’m spoken for.”

“Ah.” Parker tried to hide his disappointment, “Well, have a good night, then.”

“You too.” Jake replied, watching the man’s back as he walked away. If it had been a couple of years ago, she would have jumped at the opportunity to climb - or ride - that mountain. As it was, Jake knew that she loved Amy. Amy, wonderful Amy, who was currently in a “seminar for filing”, which had promptly opened up an entire week’s worth of evenings.

Jake checked her phone. It wasn’t too late, just a little past 12, and she wanted to enjoy just… being here. She loved Shaw’s, of course, but it was nice to sometimes just… be surrounded by other queer people. It felt like a certain type of home, which objectively made no sense since she didn’t know anyone, or even the building, but it just… Jake felt her smile widen a bit. She loved being here.

Of course, it helped that she could actually be here, at all. She doubted that the good opinion of Detective Jake Peralta was going to last if a bunch of her coworkers saw her… well.

Jake fought back the touch of insecurity that attempted to crawl up her throat. It wasn’t like no one knew, after all. Amy did, and Gina did too - Gina would normally be eager to join her on these outings, but not tonight - so it wasn’t like she was completely alone.

Still, Jake hated having to hide so much about herself- oh, and there was the negativity. Ugh. She took a gulp from her drink, trying to get herself together. This was going to be a good time. It had to be.

Another person slid up beside him at the bar, and Jake paid him no mind until he spoke. “Hey, cutie. Haven’t seen you around before.” His voice was clearly attempting sultry - and he was actually succeeding pretty well.

Jake suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Not everyone went to gay bars to get laid. “Yeah, I figured I’d give here a try.”

“Name’s Mitch.”

“Jake.”

“You want to get out of here?”

No preamble then.

“No.” She answered shortly, tone brisk.

Mitch did roll his eyes, then, but obligingly took his drink from the bar, turning to face her.

“You sure? I’ve been told I’m a good lay.”

“Congratulations.” She replied. “But no. I have a partner.”

Mitch mumbled something under his breath, but it was drowned out by the thumping music. He turned, leaving Jake alone with her drink.

Good.

Jake turned to Ash. “Hey, so, is it usually this… flirty?”

Ash raised an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, you’re a new face, and a pretty one at that. I’m surprised there isn’t a line out the door.” Then their head tilted to the side. “But yeah, Fridays here do tend to get a bit more hook-up than chit-chat. If you are free on Wednesday nights, though, we have a socializing night that’s specifically non-sexual. It brings in the ace-aro audience too, which is nice.”

“Oh, that could be fun.” Jake smiled, “I’ll have to check that out.”

“Hm.” Ash looked pleased, “Well, I’ll be there, so you’ll have a familiar face.”

“Cool.”

There was the sound of something breaking, and Ash straightened up, turning to a rather embarrassed-looking, very drunk man. “Yo! Thomas, I told you, you break another of my glasses-!”

Jake bit back a chuckle, taking a sip of her drink. Its slightly bitter taste was a welcome change - Daiquiri’s tended to run a bit sweet, so she appreciated Ash’s version. Her hand pressed down the hem of her dress - a nervous habit she’d picked up from Amy.

Jake finished her drink, and was considering getting another - wow, Ash really did mix drinks strong - when that guy showed back up. Not the buff one, the other one. Jake couldn’t remember his name. Mike, maybe? Hm.

Jake usually didn’t forget names. That was unusual.

“Hey, Jake.” The guy said, leaning against the bar. “How’re you enjoying the bar?”

“It’s good.” Jake said, nodding. She felt good - it had been so long since she’d been able to relax in a queer space, and the drink had made her feel somewhat euphoric.

“That’s great to hear.” Mike - Jake decided his name was probably Mike - said, “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay.” Jake shook her head - stopping quickly as the room spun. “Ash made my drink _really_ strong. I think if I had another I’d keel over.”

Mike laughed. Jake hadn’t thought her joke was that funny, but the guy was probably a bit intoxicated too.

“You’re here to have fun, aren’t you?”

“I mean,” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed. She couldn’t remember why she was here. “Yeah, I guess. But I’m already having fun.”

“Here, I’ll order you something light.” Mike said. “Hey, Ash!”

“What, Mitch?” Ash turned around, coming over. Oh, his name was Mitch.

“Get Jake here another drink, yeah? What do you want?” Mitch asked Jake.

Jake frowned, confused. “I… just some water, please.”

“Sure thing.” Ash handed him a glass.

She went to take a sip of it - ignoring Mitch’s side eye - and spilled some onto the counter. “Shit, sorry.” She apologized.

Ash frowned, leaning forward. “Did you pregame?”

“Um,” Jake went to shake her head, then aborted the motion when she remembered the spinning before. “No, I, uh, I didn’t.”

Ash’s frown deepened. “I’m going to call you a cab.”

Jake shook her head. “It’s okay, I- I haven’t had a chance to get out in a while.”

Ash’s face was sympathetic. “Sweetie, I understand. But I think you might be a little too… intoxicated.” The hesitation before the word gave Jake pause, but she couldn’t figure out why.

Jake fumbled out her phone. “I can call- I can call someone to get me when I leave.” That wasn’t true, though, she realized with a start. Gina and Amy weren’t around. What was she supposed to do, then? She placed her phone on the bartop. “Besides,” She flashed a grin, “Isn’t the point of bars to get drunk?”

Mitch laughed, patting her on the back - his hand lingered on her bare shoulder. “Isn’t that the spirit.”

Ash shook her head. “You can come back another time. I don’t feel comfortable letting you drink right now.”

Jake wasn’t about to argue with a bartender - number one way to get kicked out of a bar, and, besides, it wasn’t like there were dozens of gay bars around anyway. She didn’t want to get a bad rep of causing trouble. “You’re right. I should go. Thanks.” Jake handed over $15 - more than the drink was worth, by a fair bit, but she always liked to tip high when in a queer space.

Then, she stood up to leave.

\-----  
Jake opened her eyes with a groan, closing them just as quickly at the horrendously bright light shining through the window blinds. Her head felt like it was stuffed to the brim with static, and she sort of wanted to vomit. Based on the taste in her mouth, she probably already had.

Fantastic.

She hadn’t even had a lot to drink.

Wait.

_Fuck._

Jake quickly pried her eyes open, glancing around to find that she was alone. On a bed. In what was _definitely_ not her apartment. _Fuck._ The room looked painfully generic, almost bland - beige walls and beige sheets. It looked a bit like a hotel room, except without the kitchenette or clunky foldout.

She looked down - relieved to find that she was still wearing her clothes from the night prior, and that they didn’t looked messed with. Her blue dress clung to her legs, and she was uncomfortably aware of the fact that her bra clasp was digging into her back. Bringing up one hand to rub at her face, she grimaced as she encountered the gritty feeling of makeup left on too long.

She groaned again, sitting up and slowly getting to her feet - her heels were beside the bed near her feet, and a wastebasket was near the head of the bed, on the side where she had been laying - in recovery position - when she woke up.

Jake felt embarrassment seep into her - she didn’t even know where she was. Her phone, wallet, and keys were on a bedside table, and Jake fumbled for the phone. Her hands felt heavy, and she nearly dropped it as she tried to unlock it.

The time read _12:38pm_. Jake did drop the phone at that - she was missing what seemed like an entire 12 hours. The last thing she remembered was Ash telling her to get a cab.

Is that what happened? Jake couldn’t remember.

That scared her.

What if something had happened? Jake picked up her phone, wallet, and keys in one hand, and then her shoes with the other. She walked towards the door cautiously - wherever she was, she was fine. She didn’t feel like anything had… well, _happened_ , and there was no sign of it in the room, but it didn’t hurt to be careful.

She slowly opened the door, peering out of it. And nearly had a fucking heart attack.

Jake slammed the door shut, dropping her shoes to cover her mouth with a hand, fighting nausea. No, no, _nope._ Nope. This was part of the hangover. If it had been a hangover. She was going to open the door, and it would be different.

She opened the door again, faster - hoping against hope that her eyes had been lying to her.

They hadn’t been.

Jake was staring right into the living room of Captain Holt’s house.

“No.” Jake whispered, closing the door again. Maybe Holt hadn’t noticed that she was in a dress at a gay club? Maybe? Perhaps?

Fuck.

Jake looked around. There was the window. Jake went over to it, checking - she could probably pop the screen out and make a run for it. Barefoot. In a dress. In Brooklyn.

Okay, no, she would probably get murdered. Or mugged and _then_ murdered. Also she probably couldn’t make it over Kevin’s roses, whose bushes lined the side of the house.

Jake closed the window, pressing her forehead against the pane. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.

This was humiliating. Was she going to lose her job?

Jake choked back the urge to cry. Holt wouldn’t fire her, not for this. He couldn’t. It would be hypocritical.

She turned back around, walking back to the door. She could try to leave out the front. Call a cab, hope that Holt didn’t catch her trying to leave.

Of course, all of this was null and void. Holt had obviously picked her up, or maybe Kevin, but either way. They knew.

Jake wanted to cry.

She didn’t.

Instead, she picked up her shoes again, taking a deep breath, and opened the door for a third time. She stepped out into the hallway, and then walked to the living room. The door wasn’t too far, and Jake eyed it with no small amount of trepidation, trying to figure out how to sneak out.

She was oddly reminded of when she was younger, when Gina had forgotten makeup wipes and Jake had been trying to sneak into her room without her parents noticing. She had gotten caught, then, and lied and said that Gina wanted to practice makeup on people, was thinking of being a beautician. Karen had laughed and patted her on the head, saying that _it was sweet of him to help his friend like that, but that he shouldn’t walk around like that. That it would make people angry, and angry people might hurt him._

Jake didn’t really expect to get away with this. But she was going to fucking try.

She made it about halfway across the room when Kevin rounded the far corner, holding what seemed to be a tree’s worth of paper in his arms.

“Good afternoon.” Kevin said, nonreactive. “Raymond made sandwiches, if you’d like something to eat.”

“Uh.” Jake replied, face going completely red. She was suddenly very, very aware of the fact that her dress was a _clubbing_ dress. She tugged down the hem with the hand not holding her shoes, but Kevin barely spared the outfit a glance as he walked past.

“I was just going to… head out.” She stammered, trying for a grin and probably failing.

Kevin did look up at that. “Nonsense. Our household doesn’t send guests away hungry.” The stack of papers were placed on the table with a soft _thump_ , as if accentuating his point.

Jake opened her mouth to argue, but, as if on cue - and maybe it had been, in some cosmic way - Holt also turned the same corner, holding a cup of coffee.

“Kevin, I have acquired a beverage to aid in your grading-” Holt paused as he saw Jake, then continued, “-of term papers.”

“Thank you, Raymond.” Kevin said, taking the proffered cup and placing it onto the table on a coaster.

Holt turned to Jake. “Would you care for a sandwich?”

“I was just… going to go.” Jake repeated, feeling her throat start to close up. She understood, in a practical way, that Holt had clearly seen her. But some part of her brain hadn’t quite assimilated that information. It was only now that she realized that Holt had definitely figured this out.

Holt was speaking, but Jake wasn’t listening - she was too busy trying to convince herself not to cry, feeling her face get warmer and warmer as she tried and failed at maintaining composure. She tried to force her ears to tune back in.

“-Peralta, perhaps you should sit down.” Holt said, gesturing to a chair.

Jake sat down numbly, aware of the fact that she definitely had makeup on, and fuck, fuck, _fuck_ -

“I’m sorry.” Jake said suddenly, one hand pressing down her hem, “I- please don’t - I didn’t mean for you to see me like this,” She shook her head, feeling herself losing the battle with her willpower, eyes beginning to fill with tears. “Please don’t be mad.”

At that, her voice broke, and she brought up one hand to cover her mouth, trying to physically hold back the sob working its way up her throat.

“Jaco- Peralta,” Holt said, kneeling down. “I am not angry with you. Who you are is not any reason to dislike you. I am merely glad that you are safe.”

Kevin moved, placing a box of tissues next to her. He looked sympathetic.

“I concur with Raymond’s sentiment.”

“I’m sorry,” Jake repeated again, “I’m- I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see me like this.” She hated herself, in this moment. She was a detective, she should have known better, there was probably something in the drink. But she was incompetent, and now Holt was in front of her and she was in a dress and he was her _boss_ and oh fuck-

“Peralta, if I may ask, do you have a preferred name at this time?” Holt asked suddenly.

“Hm?” Jake blinked, surprised. That was not what she had expected Holt to say. “Oh, it’s- I mean, I’m Jake. I always am.”

“Okay.” Holt nodded. “Jake,” - her nickname sounded strange coming from him - “I am sorry that my presence is causing discomfort. I understand the anxiety relating to others knowing about aspects of identity. I apologize for infringing on your privacy.”

Jake was confused. None of this was going how she had thought it would. “It’s okay,” She said automatically, “It’s not like you did it on purpose.” Then, she frowned. “Wait, how did you even get ahold of me?”

Holt frowned slightly. “Ash called me, said you needed to get picked up.”

“You know Ash?”

“Yes. We had an association.” Kevin made a slight coughing noise, and Holt gave him a glance that looked almost apologetic. “When they recognized my name on your phone, they called me. I suppose they had assumed I would be aware of your identity.”

Jake felt a flash of shame at that - even though she knew, logically, that there was nothing wrong with being in the closet, it felt a bit embarrassing to be on this side of it, with Holt looking at her impassively.

“What happened? I don’t- I don’t remember.” Just trying to think back made her head _ache_ , static ramping up until she could feel it reverberating in her eye sockets.

Holt’s face twitched into a frown.

Kevin stood up, crossing the room and walking off.

“Jake,” Holt said her name carefully, “Ash informed me that you were acting incapacitated, and that when you stood up you collapsed.”

Jake’s face went, if possible, even redder. Well, she wasn’t going to be able to go back there ever again.

“I was roofied, wasn’t I?” She asked quietly, fidgeting with her hem.

“I believe so, yes.”

Jake ducked her head. “I’m sorry.” She muttered, “That’s- that’s so pathetic.”

“There is no shame in it.” Holt replied kindly, “I am glad that you are safe.”

“Did you tell anyone-?”

“No.” Holt interrupted her. “I would not betray your trust in that manner.”

“Thanks.” Jake said meekly, repeating her gratitude as Kevin returned, handing her a glass of water. Even their water tasted fancy.

“There is no shame in being who you are, and you are entitled to your privacy.” Kevin said simply, sitting down.

Jake knew that. She _did_. It was just a bit hard to acknowledge that when sitting right in front of them.

“I’m sorry you had to go out of your way to get me.” She apologized - she couldn’t stop apologizing. She wasn’t sure why, but it felt almost compulsive.

“I did not mind. My priority is your wellbeing over my convenience.” Holt replied. “Jake, should you ever feel unsafe, regardless of the situation, I would like you to know that you may always call me, or Kevin, and we will get you.”

Jake glanced between them - both looking serious, even by their standards - and swallowed down a lump in her throat. “Thanks.” She said finally. “I- really, thanks.”

“Of course.” Kevin replied, as if it was obvious that he would drop everything for Jake’s sake.

It made her slightly overwhelmed - she had only ever told Gina, and then Amy, and they both had been accepting, but it was strange that anyone else would accept her, too. The little circle of people who knew about her, and supported her, had just doubled in size.

Holt patted her knee, before standing up. “Now, would you care for a sandwich? Or I can drive you back to your apartment directly, if you would prefer.”

“I’m- yeah, I mean. Yeah. Food’d be good.” Jake rubbed at her eye, grimacing as some mascara came away on her hand. “Sorry, do you have some makeup remover or something?”

“The guest bathroom has some.” Kevin said, “Although, do not feel obligated to remove it for our sake.”

“Oh, no,” Jake waved her hand dismissively, “That’s not it. I just don’t want to get pink eye.”

“Ah. Quite reasonable of you.” Kevin sounded almost amused at that, and Jake couldn’t help but smile.

She hadn’t felt this welcomed in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Total Request:_ Hi! I love you B99 fics: the way you write the characters and emotions is amazing, I've gone back and read them multiple times! I have a request if you're willing: Jake gets roofied while at a lgbt club and blacks out, and Holt has to pick him up and takes him home to sleep it off at his home. In my head Jake is genderfluid in this and is a woman at the time so is scared when she realizes where she is (her clothing would out her) cue reassurance and acceptance from Holt and Kevin. Thank you!
> 
> thank you for your request! i didn't quite follow the prompt, since i really wanted jake as a woman doing her own thing instead of holt/kevin doing most of the narrative lifting :D
> 
> also, i checked a few queer resources and it seems like some genderfluid ppl use the same name and others dont so i chose to do it this way? i'm cisgender, so if there's any problems pls let me know!! i tried to research up to do this right but if i make any mistakes i want to be able to fix it :)
> 
> please leave comments if you are so inclined!! they bring me lots of serotonin <3


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